In a building filled with elephants, donkeys, lame ducks and cash cows, no animal is more denigrated than pigs. Where once bringing home the bacon from the U.S. Capitol was the hallmark of a successful legislator, it is now a term of derision. Things might be changing, however. It’s a serious case of déjà vu all over again.
The Return of Earmarks
The leadership of Congress is considering allowing earmarks and a return to the good ol’ days of politics that come with it. Now, before I expound on this, I think we need some context—or as one Michigan legislator put it, according to the Wall Street Journal, “Before I give you the benefit of my remarks, I would like to know what we are talking about.”
It is important to note at the outset that a large collection of baboons is often referred to as a congress (honestly). A fact which may or may not have some bearing on whether earmarks are restored. It is also critical to consider that since earmarks have existed since George Washington and the boys started getting together, they obviously came from a period when America was great. Hence, any effort to restore them must be considered as part of the Make America Great Again legislative agenda.
The term earmark is derived from the days of rampant socialism here in the United States when cows grazed on public lands, and their ears were cut in a specific way in order to distinguish who owned what cow. (Obviously PETA was not an organized lobby during this period to prevent the cutting of cows’ ears). As America became more urban, legislators, through congressionally directed spending (which is a euphemism for earmarks) created a system for contributors and supporters to graze the federal treasury for greenbacks, as opposed to green grass.
Bring on the Infrastructure
Earmarks are often slipped in under the guise of being for infrastructure, which is revered by politicians of all political persuasions as a legislative activity which results in the creation of millions of jobs while simultaneously halting climate change and magically lifting the Dow Jones Industrial Average to unsustainable heights.
We can expect considerable caterwauling on the potential corruption surrounding earmarks. Once again, it is critical that we look at this objectively. One approach is to have 535 Members of Congress who are duly elected representatives of the people and are accountable to the voters at election time make decisions on how our taxpayer dollars are spent. The alternative is to have faceless, unaccountable, “briefcase-toting” bureaucrats (courtesy George Wallace) making decisions behind closed doors!
One final aspect of whether to allow earmarks must be factored in. Mark Twain recognized this issue when he described Congress as the only native American criminal class. We in turn, the voters, enable this criminality by endorsing recidivism when we re-elect them term after term. One possible solution is to follow the advice of the writer, Doug Larson, who recommended:
“Instead of giving politicians the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.”
Easier said than done, but we need to start somewhere. How about we contact the Association of Locksmiths of America? I think they are headquartered in Dallas.